Why do we have a Christmas tree at the White House?
Lately, the rightwing noisemakers have been doing what they do best: making a fuss about a "Chairman Mao" ornament on the White House Christmas tree. Memo to the wingnuts: it's called artistic expression and irony. Don't expect those mouth-breathers to understand that.
More importantly, lost in all the noise is the answer to a much deeper question:
Why is there a White House Christmas tree in the first place?
This is America, not some country with a state religion. This country was founded on freedom of religion, which also means freedom from religion. Why is the Obama administration making Christianity in effect a state religion? What are people who have another religion supposed to think? What are the truly rational among us who don't believe in fairy tales supposed to think? The Obama administration was supposed to be on our side; why are they pandering to mouth-breathing, bible-thumping bigots, especially since none of them voted for them in the first place?
This isn't Northern Europe
Yes, we have trees in Brentwood (hence its name), but we don't have Christmas trees growing there: we've got palm trees. Show of hands: how many of you have ever seen a spruce or a pine? My research shows that those trees are only growing in a small region of the country, and the vast majority of Americans don't live in Minnesota or (gulp) Alaska. The Christmas tree is a foreign concept; in fact, it's a foreign concept from Northern Europe. What connection do almost all Americans have to the forests of Northern Europe? If we're going to have a tree for our winter festival, why not a native or indigenous plant, such as the saguaro cactus?
Have yourself a Merry Deforestation
The world is struggling with Climate Change, and trees are our best natural defenses against scorching summers and melting ice caps. So, why do we celebrate cutting down trees simply as decoration? We need to celebrate the trees themselves and in their natural, unharmed environment.
Instead of having a White House Christmas Tree, we should be on our knees in front of a list of George Bush's sins, begging the world for forgiveness for all the pain we've inflicted on them, whether through massive pollution or through trying to "bomb them back to the Stone Age".
Posted by Ariadne to Ariadne at 11:33 AM
About the Aspen Bear "cull"
There's been a lot of irresponsible speculation in the "blogosphere" about a so-called bear "cull" in Aspen. What those "armchair analysts" don't understand is that there's been a ten-fold increase in bear sightings in our wonderful town; even the Legacy Media has noticed it (link). Something has to be done, and it has to be done now before something tragic happens.
Do you want to talk about root causes? Those "know-it-alls" who feel free to criticize at a distance have no idea what's going on here. We are literally under siege. The amount of berries and other fruits on trees in the surrounding woods and mountains has been dramatically reduced, and that's caused the bears to look for food elsewhere. I have personal experience with that, as a large female black bear was recently found rummaging through the trash bin of one of the guest houses of my summer cottage in Aspen. My security team had no choice: once a bear develops a taste for human trash, it has a strong possibility of developing a taste for human flesh. I want to assure everyone that, because my security team uses a special type of ammunition known as "hollow points", the bear and her cubs felt no pain.
You know the old saying about when you point fingers you've got four fingers pointing back at you? Well, it applies in this case. Instead of blaming the entirely innocent residents of the wonderful "second town" I call home, blame yourself. The root cause of all this is global warming. It was global warming that led to the berry shortage, and that led to bears coming into town, and that led to us having to do something. We in Aspen seek to live in one with nature and take a series of steps to reduce our carbon footprint. What about you? What role have you played in increasing global warming? Don't you bear a little responsibility for the situation we face?
Further, I want to assure everyone that what we are forced to do is simply good wildlife management; we are being good stewards of the wonderful town we've been given. We have consulted with local Native American leaders and will be seeking their assistance with the action. Further, we will assure that no one will profit from the action but that instead the meat will be donated to homeless shelters in Denver and other major cities. The pelts will be crafted into garments for use by impoverished people in the Russian Far East, sending an international message of peace.
Instead of questioning what we're doing, look inward: what are you personally doing to stop global warming in order to prevent situations like this from recurring?
Posted by Ariadne to Ariadne at 12:52 PM
Obama: Take Over Whole Foods! Petition
To: President Barack Obama
WHEREAS Whole Foods is the world's leading supplier of fresh, organic products to the U.S., and
WHEREAS Whole Foods is a vital part of our communities and a treasured source of delicious and wholesome foods, and
WHEREAS CEO John Mackey recently revealed himself to be a ultra-far-right reactionary who is opposed to the rational healthcare reform that the vast majority of Americans wholeheartedly support, and
WHEREAS CEO John Mackey's opposition to rational healthcare reform is also shared by other evil-mongers such as the racist xenophobic mean-spirited reactionary "tea-baggers" and others who've attended townhall meetings, and
WHEREAS the current boycott of the company not only will have limited effectiveness but may lead to a disruption in supplies to our local markets and may lead to them shutting down stores and perhaps even firing employees and will have an impact on suppliers in countries that are already suffering under decades of U.S. oppression, and
WHEREAS other companies have been taken over by the U.S. government including companies that simply produce cars or that are banks and are not as important as food, and
WE THE UNDERSIGNED progressives hereby urge you, U.S. president and U.S. citizen Barack Obama to pass emergency legislation taking over (nationalizing) Whole Foods as a vital part of the U.S. food supply and replacing CEO David Mackey with someone who will carry forth the Obama administration's progressive goals.
Signed,
Ariadne Huffanan
Ward Beecher
John Ciccilini
Others will be added, and visitors are urged to add your signatures in the comments below.
Posted by Ariadne to Ariadne at 04:03 PM
What libertarian means, and doesn't mean
Many people have a false impression of libertarians, confusing us with libertines. In fact, the difference couldn't be more vast. We believe in peace, freedom, and liberty. They just want to "party". Certainly, we have many members that just want to "party", but that's a very small part of our movement and those people - to be frank - don't understand what it means to be a libertarian. At its heart, our movement is about individual freedom and liberty: the right to do what you want, when you want it. And, who could argue with that? Our movement is well beyond simply "partying" and the "recreational uses" of "certain substances". Nothing could be further from the truth. Yes, initially, I might have become involved with the movement because of "that", but I soon realized that there was much more to it. My political transformation began as I read the works of Ayn Rand and realized just how deeply her thoughts resonated with me... It was a true ideological transformation and life-changing event as I realized the totality of Man and how we're all linked... yet, at the same time, we're all individuals and have a right and responsibility to individualism... yet, at the same time, we're binded together in a common Humanity, as if we're part of one living organism, Earth. This transformation and its mind-expanding corollaries filled my thoughts and my mind... but, what I was unable to understand is why some people - we call them the statists - could not understand the rectitude of our argumentation. Those statists are constantly trying to "harsh our buzz", as some say. Some are willing to use truly reactionary means, even going as far as editing position papers on my own computer while I'm not looking or even when I am in order to quash our movement towards true, global harmony and peace and freedom. They are the ones to be found "pulling the strings" behind the scenes... all I know is I keep hearing some weird clicking on my phone "click... click click... click" it's like that. I could go on for hours and hours and hours and hours discussing all the things our enemies do. And, you never know where they might be. They might be in that car on the freeway or they might be over there in that tree or in that house or under that bridge or in that hill. I don't mean on the hill, I mean under the hill because I don't know what could be under there they might have something for all I know, that's where they might have a cell of people - or other beings, ready to strike and planning to strike and making their plans against us.
Jim Gillespie is a former assistant professor of comparative politics at Arcata Community College, a former web editor of Rational Magazine, and a former Libertarian Party vice-presidential candidate. He is currently a lobbyist for Hitchinson Wampoa Ltd., the Chinese State Educational and Vocational Company, and the Happy Fun Toy Company, Ltd. His thoughts are presented here only for balance, and do not represent the views of Huff And Blow.
Posted by Ariadne to Jim Gillespie at 04:20 AM
Primate rights: the b*st*rds want to take my Robbie away!
The statist b*st*rds in the California legislature want to take my Robbie away! Those are the primate rights you won't hear about from those ******** at PETA: my right to keep my friend, Robbie the orangutan, in my house. Not as a pet, but as a cherished member of the family. Yes, I know: we're all sad about the unfortunate incident in Stamford, Connecticut where a chimpanzee "went ape" (as the papers say) and attacked a friend of his caretaker. But, my Robbie is not like Travis, the Connecticut chimp.
Robbie and I are as close as two primates could be. Just as orangutans do in the wild, we frequently go swimming together and bathe together occasionally. Sometimes when he's scared of the thunder I allow him to stay safe and warm in my bed. Robbie would never go wild and try to attack someone, it's not in his nature.
But, that's not good enough for California state senator Adam Bassinger, that ************. Oh, no. For some reason that ******* wants to prevent Robbie and other primate members of the community from being free to enjoy the great outdoors and roam the city. Instead, he's pushing for laws that would trap Robbie in a prison cell... inside my house.
A key tenet of libertarianism is freedom and personal responsibility, and now Bassinger wants to take that away.
Jim Gillespie is a former assistant professor of comparative politics at Arcata Community College, a former web editor of Rational Magazine, and a former Libertarian Party vice-presidential candidate. He is currently a lobbyist for Hitchinson Wampoa Ltd., the Chinese State Educational and Vocational Company, and the Happy Fun Toy Company, Ltd. His thoughts are presented here only for balance, and do not represent the views of Huff And Blow.
Posted by Ariadne to Jim Gillespie at 07:58 PM
