I won the sperm lotto

Many people have told me that I won the sperm lotto, and it's true. I was born the scion of the Noontime chain, and I've experienced all the perks. I was basically To The Motel Born. Another person who's won the sperm lottery is George W. Bush, who has no qualifications other than being the son of the former president, who has the same name. And, another person is the publisher of the hugely conservative New York Times, George Sensenbrenner. Together, these two know each other, and worked on bringing our country into the Iraq war, a war in which thousands of Iraqis have died to bring us oil. At the root of this scandal is Judith Miller, disgraced former columnist for the paper who needlessly and constantly lied about the whole Niger yellowcake affair. And, speaking of affairs... Well, let's not go into that except to say that we do have Noontimes in Durango Colorado, so I know what I'm talking about. The Aspens are conjoined at the roots and turn in the fall. Oh, how they turn...