October 24, 2005

I won the sperm lotto

Many people have told me that I won the sperm lotto, and it's true. I was born the scion of the Noontime chain, and I've experienced all the perks. I was basically To The Motel Born. Another person who's won the sperm lottery is George W. Bush, who has no qualifications other than being the son of the former president, who has the same name. And, another person is the publisher of the hugely conservative New York Times, George Sensenbrenner. Together, these two know each other, and worked on bringing our country into the Iraq war, a war in which thousands of Iraqis have died to bring us oil. At the root of this scandal is Judith Miller, disgraced former columnist for the paper who needlessly and constantly lied about the whole Niger yellowcake affair. And, speaking of affairs... Well, let's not go into that except to say that we do have Noontimes in Durango Colorado, so I know what I'm talking about. The Aspens are conjoined at the roots and turn in the fall. Oh, how they turn...

Posted by Cudahy Patel at 12:53 PM

April 29, 2005

Vote for PAWS!

Wow! I'm the third page on this site! I'm honored that Ariadne choose me to write here. This is an important website, and I want to talk about important things. When you've seen me on your TV, you might have gotten the wrong idea about me. That's just one side of me. I have several sides to my personality. I'm not just a socialite, or the daughter of the founder of the Noontime chain. I'm also an activist for political action.

Today I'd like to talk about something important. I know what it means to lose someone you love. My Senator, Danni Knielen, knows what it means to lose someone you love too.

In my case, a year ago my beloved dog Winky got scared and jumped out of my car. The car was parked, of course. I wouldn't allow Winky to be able to jump out of a moving car. I never saw Winky again. Danni also lost her dog like I lost mine.

Now, Senator Knielen wants you to vote on a law she wrote in Sacramento in Northern California. The law is called PAWS, and it's a wonderful law. PAWS stands for the Pet Accountability and Warning System. It means that each pet - whether it's your dog or your cat or both - in California has to wear a collar. That collar is like a radio, except it sends a signal. If your beloved pet is lost - or even worse, stolen - then the police can look for that signal and find him or her. That way, there will never be any more lost pets. Imagine! No more stray dogs and cats, no more grieving pet caretakers like I am, and the pets will always be safe and sound!

My Senator even says that if someone doesn't even have the $150 for the collar, she's going to create a special fund to buy the collar for you! It just gets better!

Please, please, please. If you're a politician in California, vote for this law and keep our pets safe!

Well, that's all for now, and I hope you enjoyed my first page on this site! See you on the TV!

Posted by Cudahy Patel at 10:16 PM