I am not in the habit of buying the Los Angeles Times. The right-wing reactionary nature of my adopted city's sole major paper is a constant irritant, and their failure to even acknowledge ideologies beyond their narrow, arch-conservative worldview causes me to boycott that newspaper. Nonetheless, I spend approximately $2 per year buying the rare edition when I should need it for my personal reasons.
One such reason was earlier today. I stopped at a convenience store where I had shopped before on occasion. It is a bit of a charming ethnic store located in a largely-ethnic neighborhood which I pass through on occasion, with ethnic foodstuffs and repleat with a staff of various ethnicities. One such clerk was a mid-aged Indian lady. While no great beauty, I have at times considered engaging in a bit of a Henry Higgins/Eliza Doolittle dynamic with her in the latter role.
Such thoughts were momentarily dashed as I walked out of the store after purchasing the Los Angeles Times.
The charge was $.54. I had several pennies, so I handed her four of them, together with a single dollar bill. She handed me the change, which I deposited in my pocket and, after thanking her for her service, exited the store. Loosely jangling the change in my left pocket, I noticed something strange.
One of the "quarter dollars" I had received had no ridges! Safely away from the view of the shopkeeper, I retrieved the change from my pocket and verified the awful truth: I should have received $.50, but in actual fact I only received $.30. Thoughts raced through my mind: was this intentional? Is this a normal habit of someone I had previously considered congenial?
Only slowly later did I entertain the possibility that it could have been a completely honest mistake. After all, how much could be made from shortchanging as many people per day, versus the number of customers who would wise up and stop shopping there?
While twenty cents is a bare scintilla of my personal net worth, it is truly the thought that counts. Was I - a European Prince - taken advantage of by one of lower station? Did she play me for a "mark"?
After the initial anger, then the following realization that it could be a mistake, I came to a third line of thought: what if I put her to the test? If I go back there again and repeat the same procedure with the same result, I can say, "Ah ha!" and confront her with her treachery. If I receive the correct change the next time and the time after that, then I will be assured that the first mistake was just that: a mistake.
And, so I shall test her, and I shall find out the truth.
Posted by Prince Gerdt at 10:55 PM | Comments (1)
I do not know what the crusade will be. But, I will constantly mention it and tie everything into it. I will never cease to include a link to my website, that looks like it is what it is: the creation of a Hollywood housewife with too much time and too little of the thinking abilities.
Despite the complex scientific nature of this crusade that I shall find, I shall endeavor to understand its complexities, and I will always be able to boil it down into a series of vapid statements and scare-mongering.
What shall it be? Perhaps the rainforests? The scarcity of the giant whales? It must be at once complex, but at the same time something that the average Hollywood halfwit can understand. I will think about this and come up with my life's goal with which I shall bore you.
Posted by Prince Gerdt at 11:32 PM
Arianna has reached the nadir of her little site with the posts by struggling actress and movie producer Jillian Crane. I am not a native speaker of English, yet I manage to spell my words correctly, whereas she does not.
Seemingly every post she has made has been to "pimp" her project, which I will not even mention. She fills her posts with the names of places that became unfashionable months or years ago. I go to a different place than the "Two Bunch Palms", and, no, I will not tell Ms. Crane which that is. It is like a caricature of the worthless Hollywood life.
Please, Arianna, if you are going to copy my concept at least copy it fully and faithfully and do not post anymore from this Crane person.
Posted by Prince Gerdt at 04:29 PM
Hello, I am back from Europe. I had not viewed this site for some time, as I was concerned with other matters. I am surprised to find that there are so few posts. I have also been unable to contact Ariadne, John, Lori, or any of our other contributors.
Also, this is where we find ourselves.
I will carry on, until I find out where they are and what is the meaning of their absence from this site.
I have also decided that "if you can't beat them, join them" as the British say. I do not like "copycats", and I want to make it clear that this site was founded weeks before it was copied by a parvenue - if I can stoop to call her even by that name - Arianna Huffington. But, we must face the facts, and I will be running this site in the future with the goal of bringing down this Huffington Post.
Accordingly, I invite you to read the piffle from a self-promoting American celebrity named Kathy Ireland. She expects me to feel sorry because she could not find a cab? When millions were starving in Europe after the war, the Europe where she now lives? The insolence of this American whelp!
Posted by Prince Gerdt at 02:16 PM
I am a European Prince, a gentleman farmer, and a man of business. I too welcome you to our celebrity blog!
Posted by Prince Gerdt at 08:41 PM
A celebrity group blog from Ariadne Huffanan and Prince Gerdt von Linbloewer. Punditry from America's top minds. Your new home page. All you need to know.
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