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Questions about Judge "Scalito" Alito's background...
There are a lot of questions about George Bush's latest choice for the United States Supreme Court - Judge Samuel A. Alito - indeed.
For instance, here's the recently-sanitized "biography" from his son, Colgate University student Phil Alito:
...I was born 9 months and 2 weeks later by a midwife/wolf named Janie Jean, who would prove very influential during my formative years. Shortly after, I became interested in politics and got involved with Gary Condit (not like that). I served as a parking aide to Nancy Pelosi (I won't even start on her) but was fired when Barbara Boxer came onto me.
(A reluctant hat tip to that parvenue site.)
What else is the Alito family trying to hide from us? Are there nieces or nephews or cousins that have something to hide?
And, there's the strange case of those 20 mobsters who were acquitted. And, Scalito is Italian... Isn't it possible that someone got to him, made him an offer? Do we really need someone like that on the highest court in the land?
Worst of all, Alito would be the fifth Catholic on the Supreme Court. Now, surely, most or almost all Catholics are patriotic Americans, and only a small number of them take their marching orders from Rome. But, with that many, aren't we simply playing with statistical fire?
I - and my other contributors - will be looking into his strange, questionable background in the coming weeks.
Posted by Ariadne to Ariadne at 09:32 PM
I won the sperm lotto
Many people have told me that I won the sperm lotto, and it's true. I was born the scion of the Noontime chain, and I've experienced all the perks. I was basically To The Motel Born. Another person who's won the sperm lottery is George W. Bush, who has no qualifications other than being the son of the former president, who has the same name. And, another person is the publisher of the hugely conservative New York Times, George Sensenbrenner. Together, these two know each other, and worked on bringing our country into the Iraq war, a war in which thousands of Iraqis have died to bring us oil. At the root of this scandal is Judith Miller, disgraced former columnist for the paper who needlessly and constantly lied about the whole Niger yellowcake affair. And, speaking of affairs... Well, let's not go into that except to say that we do have Noontimes in Durango Colorado, so I know what I'm talking about. The Aspens are conjoined at the roots and turn in the fall. Oh, how they turn...
Posted by Cudahy Patel to Cudahy Patel at 12:53 PM
Everglades crisis
It is reported that there are 20-foot long Burmese pythons roaming the Everglades eating tourists to survive.
The normal food source of these pythons: squirrels, small rodents, birds, etc. has been severly impacted due to global warming, which has been made into a tragic situation by George Bush refusing to sign the Kyoto Treaty.
To add insult to injury, these majestic snakes are an invasive species. In fact, all of them are discarded pets or their offspring. Rangers estimate that there are approximately 1000 such snakes in the Everglades National Park, and, of course, none of them are native. Many of them were released by former owners who could no longer keep them due to president Bush's economic policies.
Furthermore, in 2000, Bush signed the Invasive Species Protection Act. This legislation was spearheaded by snake trappers and their lobbyists, and has made the importation of Burmese pythons and similar species much easier than in past years.
Posted by Ariadne to John Ciccilini at 08:29 PM
